Still lost

Christmas is right around the corner but i doesn't feel like it. I think one of the reasons is that we have still school tomorrow. Our winter break starts on Thursday and x-mast is on Saturday. I would want the winter break to start already but i don't know i'm still kinda of happy that it hasn't because i see the guy i like everyday... I still have a problem. I have always like putted too much thought into things and it's causing so much stress to me these days. I don't know what to do with my crush. We talk a little bit everyday and we have these weird eye contacts sometimes and my friend said to me that on this one day he was like stared at me for so long. And i've been talking to one of my friends that is a close friend to my crush and he said that he isn't normally like that around girls. But then also it's has got me thinking that what if this is all in my head. All the eye contacts and that he doesn't talk to other girl like he talks to me because it has happened in the past. That i have been over thinking and actually there was nothing there between me and my past crush.  I'm just lost because i don't want to get hurt. Again. And i'm afraid that if i tell him about how i feel he'll be just like be all awkward and our friendship won't be the same no more ( has happened to me ). But my friend just told me in the car that if he does that then he isn't just a good friend. All what my friends have told and advised me are good but i still don't know what to do. 

     What i wish for Christmas is a new pair of brains so that i wouldn't have to over think anymore! 

                                                    

As lost as Alice

  Sorry!  

I apologize that i haven't wrote anything in a long time. I've just been so busy with school and my mind. I have had so many school things to do lately. My test week just passed and we had our last test today. I have no idea how it went. It's been so hard to concentrate on these tests and i really have no idea why. My close friend is now at the other end of Finland, Lapland. I just miss her. She always clears my head when i have trouble and she always listens and we always have the best laughs. She has only been away for a week but i still miss her. My heads been all over the place. I like this one boy on my class. He makes me laugh and i enjoy his company, but i'm still afraid that if i one day have the guts to tell him that i like him and he rejects me, he may not be my friend anymore or  not talk to me. I don't want to lose him. Like today, when the exam was over he came to sit next to me and we talked for like 45 minutes until he had to get to his bus. But that whole time we talked i laughed and smiled. He makes me happy and that's why i'm afraid. I'm so shy to tell him how i feel and i'm afraid to tell him if he rejects me.  I don't know what to do and i hope that my friend can help me when she comes back from Lapland. Anyone got any tips on how to clear head from stress?