Don't give up

It's been hard couple of weeks. I stress ( as usual ) about the future. Our last period of this semester just started and next autumn i'll be on second year. Once again closer to my final exams. I know i'm stressing out over nothing right now. My final exams will be in the third or fourth year. I always stress to much
  One other reason why these past weeks have been hard on me are because of a boy. I thought we had something. Always when i talked with him he would stair straight into my eyes and he just felt different. I'm too shy to tell him how  i feel and i'm afraid that if he doesn't feel the same way i'll lose him as a friends. And as selfish as this sounds - i'm scared that i'll get hurt again.   So i was thinking that i should just let it go. Let him go. And then on Monday evening i got a message from my friend saying she was talking with my crush and found out that he likes someone. Someone from our class. I was thrilled but also quite scared because my first thought was that what if it's someone else from our class. I was so scared that night. But the next day changed almost everything. He started talking to me. More than usual - we talked for the whole fee period we had! Nothing important. Movies, games and pokemon. Yep pokemon! But it was nice. And my friend thinks that this is he making a move on me because when she talked with him she said that he should do something, make a move, start something. So i hope that this is it then. So all i can say is don't give up too easily like i have done many times. But not this time.
  This sounds more like a real passionate romance story doesn't it? Sorry got carried away there. But i am really exited about this. Hopefully everything ill be okay.

Test week.

This week just started and i'm already so done with everything. Yesterday we had English test and today was our Swedish test. And they just keep coming. Tomorrow is our biology test, Thursday we have religion and Finnish exam and Friday is math. It' would be nothing but two tests on the same day! Jesus and i can just feel that tomorrows biology's test will go to the woods. I don't know anything and i have been paying attention in class but we are studying something about DNA and RNA, photosynthesis, cells and what are inside of them i mean what the hell?! I'm trying to understand everything but i just can't. It's just something that doesn't stuck in my head. And i have another book report that is to do on Thursday. I still have over 200 pages left to read. Love high school or collage what ever this school is. It's always so hard for me to tell about my school because i live in Finland and the school system goes a bit differently here the for an example the UK. Well what ever. I should be studying and here i'm, writing to my blog and listening to Troye Sivan. Shit. 

 Up date on my crush: On Sunday i went out with him and a couple of friends. It was nice but today i got really jealous. It felt weird. I always thought that we had '' something '' because he always looked me in the eyes when we talked and blaa blaa but today he was talking to one of my class girls and i felt like there was nothing different about how he talked to her and how he talks to me. And this is what i have been afraid of all the time. That all of this is just in my head. And i really don't know that to do i mean if this IS all just in my head then shouldn't i just drop it. Forget the feelings an remain as friends with him? I don't want that to be honest but i don't want us to not be friends. I know i'm very difficult with this manner and everybody says that '' go talk to him '' , '' what can you lose from it? '' , '' just tell him how you feel '' . It's not that easy to me because i'm really scared that if he doesn't feel the same way about me then we will no longer be friends. I have been rejected so many time i don't feel that confident around boys i like.  Maybe this is just one of those things that you have to get over with. * sigh *